Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Word for 2019 | Stewardship

2018 was a transformative year for me -- moving out on my own to a new city for the first time, starting a new job, beginning a new chapter of life from scratch. With all of the external changes, I chose not to set many goals for the year because I didn't know what to expect or how to plan for the unexpected. I kept what few goals I did set vague and inexact, trying to keep them manageable while still a bit challenging.

In reality, however, I set a low bar for myself. I knew the year was naturally going to bring challenges, so I let my external situations set the course for my life and I didn't set any ambitious goals of my own, keeping myself squarely within my comfort zone whenever possible.

It wasn't until the past few months that I've realized a large part of why I constantly feel so frustrated with myself and so disorderly in my life was precisely because of this pattern of letting my circumstances steer me. I was leaning too much on the idea of c'est la vie, of whatever happens must be His plan and trying to do too much on my own would go against that. And in the meantime, I was letting things that were within my realm of control and responsibility get the better of me.

In short -- 2018 was a year of incredible life changes, but also a year of being lazy and lacking self-discipline.

This year, I want to take all the little pieces I've learned and reflected on over the last few weeks and move them into action, to change how I live my life so that I am content in every and any situation knowing that I have done the work I'm supposed to do, and to give myself grace when I fall short.

And so, my word for the year: stewardship.

The idea that all that I have has been entrusted to me by the Lord, and I have the responsibility to manage it well.

To those who have been around for a little while, this won't come as a big surprise. It was a direction I mulled over in this post from earlier this year when I changed the name of this blog. It's a concept that I've had bouncing around in my head for several years but have never been good at focusing on or making progress towards a better handle of it.

By the end of the year, I would like to reach a place in life where I am managing things (my home, finances, friendships, etc) well and can find enjoyment in them, but they don't overflow their places of importance. If unexpected situations arise, I want to be in a place where I can make adjustments accordingly without undue stress. I want to cultivate a life of margin and have balance in each aspect of life.

I know this is a vague sentiment, and I'll outline my specific goals in a later post, but I'm generally inept at outlining big picture goals and need to have this idea written out so I can reflect on it again and again when I inevitably get stuck in the weeds of my goals.

Happy 2019!

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